Top 10 Myths About Psychotherapy in New York

So, you’re ready to start psychotherapy in New York. You’ve looked at some therapists’ websites, but you’re still unsure about what to expect from therapy. You’ve heard some people talk about bad experiences or have seen therapy on TV. But what’s true and what’s false? I’m here to guide you through some common myths about therapy and give you information about what is actually true. I’ll debunk myths in this post and discuss truths in the next one.

Common Myths About Psychotherapy in NY

Myth #1: Going to therapy means you’re “weak,” “crazy,” or can’t handle problems on your own.

I will repeat this until I’m gone: Going to therapy is a sign of strength and potential for growth. While you may feel at your wit’s end, like you’re stuck, have little energy left, and are unsure about what to do, the fact that you’re looking for a therapist means you recognize how much needs to change. We live in a society that values individuals going it alone, doing everything they can to “push through.” This isn’t healthy. Asking for help is one of the surest signs of courage. Keep going.

Myth #2: Therapists are just paid to “care.”

Many therapists don’t openly discuss how important the relationships they build with clients are. Therapeutic relationships mean that yes, there’s an exchange of money to pay for the therapy service. But this doesn’t preclude caring. I firmly believe in my clients and value the intimate details people share with me about their lives. I find that without having a relationship built on trust and care, therapy isn’t as effective. Make sure you find a therapist that you feel a connection with. They’re not a best friend, but they are someone who is there to show you care.

Myth #3: “I can do it on my own. I don’t need therapy.”

I believe that certain types of therapy are not for everyone. There is a therapist for every person who chooses to participate in this journey. However, isolation has been shown to lead to poor mental and physical health outcomes. “Doing it on your own” can actually harm more than help. Even if therapy is not the tool you choose, it’s important for you to find the tools and resources to get support for whatever you’re going through. Try acupuncture, reiki, energy work, psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, group therapy, 12-step groups, online support groups, workshops, treatment programs, book clubs, and yoga classes. Therapy can help uncover deeply ingrained stories and patterns for you to build new relationships with your mind, body, and spirit. If you are struggling with your mental health, it is important to seek professional help. Therapy can be a very effective treatment for various mental health issues. If you are thinking about therapy, don't let these myths stop you from getting the help you need.

Myth #4: You’ll have to be in therapy for your whole life.

Some people believe this is true. I don’t think I’m doing my job well if a client feels they need therapy forever. I don’t want to create dependency. I want to help you build interdependent relationships outside of therapy, heal within the therapy space, and see where life takes you. I often work with clients for many years as I find that helps get to core issues hidden by what they initially come into therapy with. You and your therapist decide together when you feel ready to leave therapy or how long therapy is for. Some therapists do wonderful short-term work; others provide healing long-term work. I believe it is up to you and your therapist to find what will be best for your struggles.

Myth #5: Your therapist doesn’t think about you outside of sessions.

Of course I think about my clients between sessions! As I write this, I’m thinking of you right now — trying to connect to you and imagine who you are. Therapists try to prepare before sessions by reading through the previous notes, talking to their supervisors about issues they might be having or questions they don’t know how to answer so they can learn more and be the best therapist they can be, and sometimes think of you because they saw something that reminded them of you. Again, the relationship you build with a therapist has an impact on them as well. You matter more than you think.

Myth #6: The point of therapy is learning to stop feeling so many feelings.

Therapy is just the opposite. Therapy helps you get in touch with your feelings, learn about why they arise, where feelings come from in your brain and body, and how they share valuable information and insight with you. Therapy can teach you to listen to that information rather than be completely overwhelmed or crushed by your feelings.

Myth #7: You don’t deserve or really need to go to therapy because “other people have it worse.”

This is a common myth I hear, especially from survivors of trauma. You think it’s worse for others or that you went through wasn’t “that bad.” Firstly, your experiences are valid, real, and deserve care and attention like anyone else. Secondly, it’s unfair to create a scale of comparison for life events, pain points, traumas, and anything else you are struggling with. You deserve support for any reason.

Myth #8: Therapists will give you advice and tell you what to do about all your problems.

Therapists are different than life coaches. A therapist is someone who can help you explore your options, get to the heart of what is troubling you, dig into repetitive patterns of thought or behavior, and give you tools to use to shift both your relationship to what is happening and your actions and feelings about it. I personally don’t like being told what to do. I find it more empowering to find the root causes of what’s happening and help dig into internal resources (with external support and tools, of course!).

Myth #9: Therapy is a quick fix.

I honestly wish that it was. But, as with many things, the more time we take with it, the deeper we can go. Therapy takes time — anywhere from 6 months to several years. But you can feel relief much sooner. If you’re not feeling any relief from therapy, don’t feel like you have any tools you can use outside of sessions, or just feel worse and worse, talk to your therapist about this. It’s important to give therapy time and to make sure you feel positive effects from your therapy sessions.

Myth #10: Therapy is all about talking about your problems.

Therapy is about more than just talking about your problems. It is about coping with your problems, changing your thinking patterns, and developing healthy coping mechanisms. The great thing about therapy is that it can incorporate so many different styles and tools. I’ve used yoga, gardening/horticulture, my therapy dog, dancing, body-based exercises, nervous system engagement, breathing techniques, homework, voice notes…The list goes on and on! If you’re tired of traditional talk therapy, seek a therapist who can incorporate other healing modalities into your work together.

I hope this helps you dispel some of the myths you might have had about psychotherapy in New York. If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to call me at 845-202-9814 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. I’d be happy to hear what is happening and help direct you to the right person. If you are looking for help with trauma, gender, sexuality, anxiety, or depression, you can read more about how we can help here.